Friends, it’s the Brit. How the heck are you? Today, it occurred to me that some might read this blog and think, “Wait a sec, my Brit friend. You’re pansexual and nonbinary, and your hubby’s trans. So, why are you reading so much cis and het romance?
When I first came out as nonbinary, I got rid of all my femme clothes, lipsticks, hair products … all of it. I decided that I needed to fit a nonbinary mold. Then I got depressed. I didn’t look like me. And that made me wonder if the feelings I had about my gender—and had felt since I was five—were just confusion. But that was my internalized transphobia, because there is NO nonbinary mold. I’m femme and AFAB. But I don’t feel cis. Even when I didn’t have words for it, I never, ever felt cis.
Now, here’s the thing. I love queer romance. One of my first great loves in terms of romance novels was Sarah Waters’ Tipping The Velvet—a Victorian lesbian romance. (It’s AMAZING!) But I also love reading cis het romance. Often the female characters feel like they look me-like. Often the male characters present like The Man. I don’t mean they’re like us in terms of personality. But there’s a way in which, in our minds, they DO reflect ourselves.
The Man and I walk down the street and many people must think, “Oh look! A nice cis/het couple.” But they’re wrong! And who’s to say the characters we’re reading about are cisgender and heterosexual anyway? They could be bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary …. They could be closeted. They could be simply private. Either way, why shouldn’t I imagine them as I please?
Seeing yourself on the page is a beautiful thing. There absolutely should be a whole TON of queer romance. And Harlequin, I know, are absolutely ON that, including with their forthcoming sexy contemporary line, which I’m super-excited about. But I see myself where I see myself. And perhaps I don’t even need to see myself, if I love a thing. It’s all about what we want as individuals.
Thanks for reading, friends.
Romancey Pants 