Duck: Hit Man was a duck of a lot of fun, Star! The plot: A fake hit man (played by Glen Powell) who lures criminals for the police falls for a woman (played by Adria Arjona) who almost “hires” him to take someone out (meaning murder, not a pizza date). She believes he’s a real hit man and he doesn’t correct her. Their ensuing steamy affair made my flippers sweat … and NOT in an attractive way. And it leads them into hot water … though I’ll add that zero ducks were boiled in Hit Man. Score!
Star: I loved the crime elements in Hit Man too, though they were light as duck down—so much so that you couldn’t call this a crime movie. The crime elements lent duck-shaped pace, tension, and flipper-tickling high stakes to the plot.
Duck: The steaminess was a bit of a crime too! Look, see? I’m fanning my feathers just thinking about it! And my hind tuft is a wee bit sweaty.
Star: High spice factor, for sure.
Duck: But no duck spices, thank duck! I hate it when people season ducks. It usually means they’re about to eat us.
Star: Lack of duck seasoning was a definite strength of the film!
The leads, Glen Powell and Adria Arjona, were beak-to-flippers awesome, too. Powell is a ducking legend at entertainment. His role demanded that he took on various personae and he rocked the whole pond at this! Arjona was compelling too, and the chemistry between these two was more electric than the fabled eel. And the strong-though-whacky plot made for an immersive beak-dive, too. Plus we laughed a duck of a lot. What a fun and exciting movie!
Duck: We were ducking captivated from the outset. My pondwater latte got cold—that’s how rapt we were!
Star: I thought you were giving those up!
Duck: I did. Now I just use them as a warm beak-soak. The soy puts a pleasant tingle in my beak-holes, which then twinkle more. And that attracts goldfishes—my faves.
Star: Well, that just put a whole new spin on Starbucks.
Duck: Starducks, Star. Starbucks knows duck-all about pondwater beverages. Now, onto diversity….
Star: Which was okay! Racial diversity wasn’t bad, with a mega-talented lead of color—thank you, Adria Arjona. But we hungered for more LGBTQIA+ representation—perfect venue for it. And what about disabled representation? Come on, filmmakers, let’s commit our flippers!
Duck: But let’s not commit real crime. Unless it liberates ducks.
Star: Aren’t ducks already liberated?
Duck: I mentioned about the duck spices, right?
Star: Ah. Yes. I stand fully corrected.
Duck: Watch the movie, friends! It’s a ducking doozy!
At the time of writing, you can watch Hit Man on Netflix here!
Featured image by Star Tavares using Canva and a screenshot of a scene from Hit Man via the movie trailer on YouTube.
Romancey Pants 