Yes, friends, it’s me, The Brit, and yes, it’s come to this! I enjoy a good enemies-to-lovers romance. Allow me to show, rather than tell, why that is, via some squirrels—both of whom were paid handsomely and are bone fide members of Equity.
Squirrel One: Gosh, you seem awfully keen on that marble bust. You’re always perching there. What do you see in it?
Squirrel Two: It’s because we’ve got this love-hate thing. I love to hate the marble bust! It’s always in my way, stony and strong, embodying everything a squirrel secretly loves to be dominated by! The marble bust gets me furious. Was that really an anti-squirrel joke it just told?! The cheek! The squirrel-sogyny! But the rage burns and becomes something fiery and irresistible.
Let’s admit it! We are attracted! Things get very noir. Soon, the marble bust is grasping my squirrel tail and looking into me with its smoldering eyes, telling me it MUST kiss me. How can a squirrel not come to pieces?
Through this passion, we begin to grow closer—to see that in some ways, we’re very similar. We are damaged goods, hardened by suffering, yet maybe our love—and hazelnuts—can help to heal us! Yes! Here I must sit, in love, aflame, having finally shown my true self to the marble bust, while finally understanding the true vulnerability of the ancient, sculpted head that has now so deeply embraced me.
Squirrel One: Well, that’s me told.
XOXO
Romancey Pants 