Friends, long ago, in the dark days when I was just a youthful thing, I lived over in Blighty and used words like “cuppa,” “bleeding heck,” and “cor blimey—sometimes all at the same time, depending on how strong the tea was. But now, my plush duck, name of Duck—who is also British, I might add—often decides to censor my Englishness. For ri-duck-ulous reasons.
A convo between we two:
Duck: What is this word in your manuscript now, Star?
The Brit: Do you mean “wiffle” or “chinwag”?
Duck: Wiffle? I didn’t even know there was a wiffle, duckdammit.
The Brit: When you wiffle—as you may remember, dear mate—you just yammer on, talking and talking, without a clear destination.
Duck: Oh! We ducks call that “goal-free quacking.” Or if you’re paddling, rather than talking, it’s “goal-free paddling.”
The Brit: So …
Duck: But should you be using these kind of colloquial Britishisms in a novel that’s aimed as U.S. peeps, Star?
The Brit: Well, it’s not only for U.S. peeps. And I’m writing British characters who say British things. Like “chinwag.” Which is when you “wag your chin” a lot because you’re talking with someone else.
Duck: Ducks don’t say “chinwag” because we don’t have chins. So it’s probably best to cut that.
The Brit: I think it can add to the richness of a novel when you write about other cultures, especially if you get to pepper some dialect in there. Maybe ducks will be interested enough to look up the occasional Britishism?
Duck: You should write more novels about ducks. And don’t use any pepper. We hate that stuff. Even on goldfish.
The Brit: Well, I can only imagine how much censoring you’d do if I wrote about ducks, mate.
Duck: Not censoring, editing. Editing with a tendency towards cutting words that ducks don’t understand. Or words that sound a wee bit silly. Like chinwag and wiffle.
The Brit: Others may think these words are interesting, you know.
Duck: Maybe you could do an extra version of your novel that’s just for ducks. After all, it’s vital to know your audience, Star.
Have a great weekend, friends!
Romancey Pants 