Friends, sometimes I get offended. It’s often when I’m reading an older novel, and then I think to myself, “Well, back then, I myself didn’t know I was also excluding nonbinary and other LGBTQIA+ identities in my own writing, so that’s easier for me to forgive.”
Duck: As for me, I still hold the grudge, even when my flippers are slippery.
At other times though, like when a book has just been published and has all the sensitivity of a brick with boots on, I feel that I—or members of another marginalized group—are being deliberately ousted. For instance, if somebody in the U.S. in this day and age refers to “everyone in the world—both men and women,” which has happened more times than I’d like to say, I unsubscribe from their email list. You’d think nonbinary and intersex folks—only two of the identities left out by the above statement—didn’t exist. But of course, we ducking do.
Duck: Whenever I know someone’s being deliberately bigoted, I snort pondweed spitballs at them directly out of my beak-holes. I use my quack-o-meter to work out who’s most deserving.
I will say this. Often, when folks offend, they just don’t know. I didn’t know when, years ago, I wrote a line in a sex scene that was, without my realizing, insensitive towards a trans character. Then my partner said, “Honey, we have to talk about this.” Then, filled with remorse, I changed that ducking line.
The problem is that there are also a lot of folks who really do know they’re excluding. And if they do know, they’ve got a lot of anger in those jumpsuits.
I love it that when Lizzo realized her song Grrrls contained ableist language, she redid the song, even though it had already been released. Beautiful. Such great activism. I can only imagine how much the song cost to update. I think more of her now. Of course, that’s easy for me to say—I wasn’t in the group she was accidentally offending. But for me, it’s the trying that counts. After all, we’re not required to know everything, are we? We’re allowed to make mistakes. But we are also required to take responsibility for them.
Either that, or we’re subjected to expertly beak-snorted pondweed spitballs.
Duck: It’s an easy choice
Hope you’ve had a great start to your week, friends.
Romancey Pants 