Duck: Friends, sometimes you watch a Hallmark movie and go, “Quacker-doodle doo! Hallmark was doing something super-ducking awesome here!” And that’s how it was with Love, Classified. I was so delighted that my quacks had that bubbly quality you get from a fine champagne.
Star: The story paddles along like this: Emilia, a famous romance novelist with quite the ducking ego, returns to her hometown after a long absence to reconnect with her ducklings … No wait, I mean her adult kids. But once she arrives, she discovers their duck-tails are raised in fury! More importantly, every family member seems to be finding love—often via a neighborhood app called Classifie.
This movie had an unusual structure, which reminded us of Love, Actually as a matter of quack. In fact, given the similarity in titles, it made us wonder if Love, Classified was inspired by Love, Actually. Love, Classified certainly did a better ducking job with inclusion and diversity, didn’t it, Duck?
Duck: Duck, yes!
Star: But first, what about Love, Classified’s performances?
Duck: There were pond-shimmering performances from this cast! Melora Hardin gives a spectacular performance as Emilia—she’s as good at portraying quirky comedy as she is at grief, guilt, and confusion. Katherine McNamara was also powerful and captivating as one of Emilia’s adult ducklings, the fiery yet vulnerable Taylor. And Louriza Tronco was super-ducking brilliant as shy-but-smart Margot—we want to see more from this performer! She’s mesmerizing! Also Max Lloyd-Jones did wonderfully as Taylor’s brother, the shy, strong, perceptive Zach.
Were there any ducks in this cast? NOPE! NOT A DUCKING ONE! It was a DUCK DESERT with nary a drop of pondwater. Even so, we should mention that this full-feathered, beak-hole-tingling movie was made with real human diversity in mind.
Star: It’s true! Say—or quack—what you like, but this story has the kind of representation we’re diving for beak-first. Love, Classified had LGBTQ+ and racial diversity—with gay/bi/pan characters, including those of color—plus a questioning character, a coming-out narrative, and a mature middle-aged romance. There was also a discussion about what it means to live in the world without a parent, and we felt the movie’s mature love relationship really changed the narrative’s course. Nice stuff, ducky dears.
Duck: As for the screenplay’s language use, well …. Made in 2022, Love, Classified’s attempts at nonbinary “inclusion” are mere tadpoles right now. I mean, if Love, Classified was a pond, there’d be a few nonbinary bubbles in it and maybe a crushed nonbinary Coke can. But the fact there was an awareness still put a tingle in my flippers.
Star: Yes! As a nonbinary person myself, I felt hope! For instance, the phrase “whether you’re dating men, women, or whatever” came up a few times, and that actually made me feel like the characters/creators were aware of nonbinary folks like me. It may seem like crumbs, but right now, I’ll take crumbs!
Duck: Just be careful those crumbs don’t clog your beak-holes, Star! Ducks aren’t meant to eat bread you know. Best stick to kippers or a goldfish sandwich, if you’re a duck. But what if you’re a diversity duck, Star?
Star: Ah, diversity ducks! Hang onto your diversity fries, friends, because we’re going to give this movie five diversity ducks. Why? We feel, for a film made in 2022, it was TRYING. And dear Hallmark, we really appreciate that. But now, perhaps it’s time to start addressing groups as “women, men, and others.” Or how about simply “humans” or “people”? These words and phrases are simple, direct, and they exclude no one.
Duck: All in all, five flippers up for this rollicking romantic comedy!
Star: Lots to love here. We give this movie ALL THE FLIPPERS!
Where to watch Love, Classified (at the time of writing):
Amazon Prime (via Hallmark Movies Now subscription)
YouTube (Primetime subscription)
Featured image (and other photos) courtesy of Hallmark and designed by Star Tavares.
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