Jake T: In Chef’s Choice, TJ Alexander writes about tons of loveable people, most of them queer and non-cis, and not in a historical or fantasy fiction way, so it essentially hits a sweet spot for me.
Sir Mallard Jones: Well, one doesn’t mind a little Kermit the Frog, but there was no Kermit in this novel. It’s the only strike against it, I say.
JT: I saw this romance novel described somewhere online as “T4T with fake dating.” Funnily enough, I looked up what “T4T” meant and it turns out that I’m in a T4T relationship.
SMJ: Oh! With moi?!
JT: No, Sir Mallard. With Star.
SMJ: But Star doesn’t have testicles!
JT:
SMJ: Isn’t that what, you know, the T stands for?
JT: You honestly think “T4T” stands for “testicles for testicles”?
SMJ: Well, enlighten me then, boy!
JT: It means “trans for trans.” As in two trans people in a romantic relationship.
SMJ: Oh, ha ha! Of COURSE it does! So sorry. I’m still waiting for my duckspresso to brew.
JT: Anyway, Chef’s Choice. So there’s Luna who lost her job and Jean-Pierre (JP) who comes from a famous and incredibly wealthy French family.
SMJ: Must meet someone like JP!
JT: He’s in dire need of a partner—
SMJ: I can help!
JT: —to help him prove to his grandfather that he is worthy of his family’s massive inheritance.
SMJ: But is he worthy of a MASSIVE MALLARD???
JT: Stop.
SMJ: Okay.
JT: The pair do this not only through fake dating, but by learning how to cook what sounds like pretty damn complicated French dishes chosen by JP’s master chef grandfather. Neither Luna nor JP have chef experience. Actually, Luna doesn’t really know how to crack an egg until she’s shown by her pastry chef roommate, Simone.
SMJ: Crack an egg? The brutality! What is with humans always cracking our eggs! Get your own!
JT: JP offers Luna $600,000 for her time as his fake girlfriend and of course she doesn’t say no because who would?
SMJ: Agreed.
JT: Plus, she has plans to open a yoga studio in the future so that cash comes in handy. So Luna and JP shack up together in her NYC apartment to uphold the ruse and throw off the paparazzi, who seem to follow JP wherever he goes.
SMJ: So, this is the setup?
JT: That is the setup.
SMJ: Can one talk about how one felt about the book now?
JT: Be my guest.
SMJ: I LOVED IT!
JT: Okay.
SMJ: I LOVED IT! FIVE STARS! No, ALL THE STARS!
JT: Do you want to tell us why?
SMJ: Because of the lovely depiction of all the lovely characters who just so happen to be trans and/or nonbinary. I loved the lovely Luna the most because she reminded me of an old duck friend. Anyway, she’s beautiful and smart and gets sincerely messed with by that subpar ex-employer of hers.
JT: Your duck friend or Luna?
SMJ: Luna, silly boy! You know this!
JT: Just want to clarify.
SMJ: Yes, but Luna is a fighter and single-handedly gets herself into a way better position—in job and life and eventually…can I say it?
JT: What were you going to say.
SMJ: [Whispers]
JT: Yes, of course. I think most readers can guess that Luna and JP will fall in love.
SMJ: Well, now you just stole one’s thunder. You’ve said it already. THEY FALL IN LOVE, PEOPLE. Now what do you have to say about Chef’s Choice by TJ Alexander?
JT: It was to see trans folks just being trans folks, really.
SMJ: Ah! Did you feel represented?
JT: Like, me personally, as a trans guy?
SMJ: That’s exactly my question.
JT: Not really, but I don’t need to see myself in fiction or film in order to appreciate it.
SMJ: And how did you feel about the setup?
JT: I thought it was inventive. I didn’t find it believable, but that’s another thing I don’t necessarily need to see in my fiction or film.
SMJ: Sounds like you’re easy to please, boy.
JT: No, actually. Not at all. But with the romance genre, I just want to be told a good story where there’s a happy-enough ending. I want the story to “take me away,” and for the most part, Chef’s Choice did that.
SMJ: And how many stars would you give it? Clearly not YOUR Star! Don’t give it YOUR Star! Ha ha!
JT: I’d give it a solid 3.5.
SMJ: JUSTIFY THIS SACRILEGE, HUMAN!
JT: I think 3.5 stars isn’t a slight, really, but I’m rating it on things like pacing. There were a few moments when it seemed to drag a bit. But overall, it was a good story with good representation. I liked it. 3.5 stars.
SMJ: SACRILEGE!
JT: Well, we don’t need to agree on everything, Sir Mallard. That’s why we do this together—so that readers can get different takes on romance films and novels (and more) from different Romancey Pants writers.
SMJ: DON’T LISTEN TO HIM, PEOPLE!
JT: Okay.
SMJ: THIS IS VERY MUCH A FIVE-STAR T4T ROMANCE!
JT: What’s your diversity rating?
SMJ: FIVE DIVERSITY DUCKS!
JT: Agreed.
SMJ: Oh. Really?
JT: Yes. I thought there was good inclusion not only gender-wise, but race as well.
SMJ: I like it when we agree.
JT: Do you have anything else to add?
SMJ: I liked that Luna’s mom was not a duckhead. It’s important, I think, to show some trans people having good, supportive folks. It seems like not enough of you do, one thinks.
JT: You might be right. And I liked that, too.
SMJ: Oh! We’re up to two similarities now! AND COME TO MY POND, TRANS PEOPLE! DUCKS WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
JT: What a great way to wrap this up.
SMJ: Mm, yes! You’re welcome!
You can buy Chef’s Choice now at your local bookstore or at these online retailers:
Romancey Pants 