Romancey Pants

Duck: Star, about twenty years ago, you were super-ducking obsessed with Jilly Cooper’s novels!

Star: That’s right, my feathered friend! Back then, I had a really stressful job that was causing me some serious mental-health havoc. A friend of mine said to me, “Honey, you’re so duck-darn stressed! What are you going to do about it? And have you tried trashy novels yet?”

Well, she gave me a list of Dame Jilly Cooper’s massively thick books (which, in the U.K, we called “bonkbusters”) and instructed me to read them in a soapy bath along with a glass of wine. Pretty soon, I was so ensconced with Cooper’s Rutshire Chronicles books, which I was devouring every night, that I knew I had to leave the job that was driving me quackers. How could I not? Life was meant to be ENJOYED!

Duck: Super-ducking awesome! But that was a duck of a long time ago. What’s the duck-deal now?

Star: Well, Jake and I—

Duck: That’s Other Duck.

Star: Well, you call him Other Duck.

Duck: Right, that’s fair.

Star: Jake/Other Duck and I have been STRESSING THE DUCK OUT about politics. The news has been weighing down our flippers to be sure, and we’d just about gotten to the end of our duck-sticks. “Listen,” I said to Jake one morning, “things are so dark that we should bury our beaks in a Jilly Cooper novel. They’re a marvelous escape.”

Well, it turned out the Internet had something even better, because unbeknownst to us, Jilly Cooper’s Rivals has been made into a series on Disney Plus, and it is EVERYTHING.

Duck: What’s not to love? Like the book, the series features a rivalry between Rupert Campbell-Black, a British right-wing M.P. and Lord Tony Baddington who runs a local commercial TV station. As the story paddles forward, these men start to HATE each other more than a duck hates a roasted duck sandwich, especially when their companies vie for a local TV franchise. Rupert and Tony’s families, employees, lovers, and friends are all dragged into the rigmarole, and, given that this is Dame Jilly Cooper at her finest, there’s a DUCK of a lot of slap and tickle throughout.

Duck: And at the center of all the outrageous love affairs and underhand tactics are a couple of heart-of-gold love stories that also keep us all on the edge of our seats. Because the wonderful thing about Dame Jilly Cooper is that for all her marvelous dark comedy and satirical side-eye, she truly loves a heart of gold.

Star: And she’ll redeem even the most vindictive or slimy of characters with a stroke of her silk-lined quill.

Duck: Not a duck-feather quill, I hope?

Star: Oh I seriously doubt it.

Duck: But because of when the majority of Cooper’s novel were written, rereading them in the present day is politically challenging. Actually, that’s a pond-suck understatement.

Star: It’s true. In terms of DEI, Rivals as a novel scores LOW, folks, but of course, it was the eighties, so there we have it. Sadly, in the original tome, there’s racism, classism, rampant misogyny, some general meanness, and much hunting of wild animals.

Duck: No hunting of ducks. Thank duck!

Star: Thank duck indeed. But the TV series, which is produced and co-written by Dame Jilly herself, is a duck of a lot more equitable and inclusive. In fact, given the novel on which the TV series is based, we’d say the screenwriters went out of their way to ensure this. Thanks, Dame Jilly and team!

Duck: Also, can we quack about this GLORIOUS CAST!

Star: Tickle my flippers, yes! Stephen Hassel as Ruper Campbell-Black is SUPER-DUCKING AMAZING! I now can’t imagine anyone else playing this dark, sparkly-eyed, rich-to-the-britches-and-proud-of-it character with all his privilege and deeply hidden pain. And his attraction to Taggie, played by Bella Maclean, is flipper-ticklingly profound. Taggie and Rupert bring out the best in each other, in spite of their star-crossed love.

Duck: Other powerful performances that a duck can’t but quack about include the brilliant David Tenant as Tony Baddington, Nafessa Williams as the ambitious and smart Cameron Cook, Gary Lamont as the delightful and moving Charles Fairburn, and Katherine Parkinson as Lizzie Vereker, who is EVERYTHING. Danny Dyer as Freddie Jones is also SUPER-DUCKING SUBLIME.

Star: Seriously, duck-friends, check this one out! It will help you forget about the pond-slop that currently abounds and will instead fill thy beak-holes with happiness!

Duck: Loves ya.

You can watch Rivals on Disney Plus/Hulu (or sign up for a free trial) here.

Featured image: Screenshot of movie poster from Disney Plus series advertisement. Star Tavares designed this graphic using Canva.